We need to understand that any child we know is vulnerable to sexual abuse. And as adults, their well-being and safety is our paramount concern and responsibility. However, it is not always possible for adults to ensure a child's safety. It therefore becomes imperative to teach children on how to protect themselves. Besides creating safe spaces for children to talk to us, it is our responsibility as adults to learn, to notice, and to react when we see sexually inappropriate behaviors towards children and teens. Adults need to learn how to respond when we think a child is being sexually abused.

This is a popular misconception. Child sexual abuse is a universal problem affecting millions of children across the world. Though it exists everywhere, more reporting and research is available from the western countries. Statistics show that child sexual abuse is very prevalent. A World Health Organization (WHO) report in 1999 stated that 1 in 10 children is sexually abused. Extensive data on the prevalence of child sexual abuse in India is not available. However, some major research studies done in this field present following results:

These fears are
Fear Of Remembering: Sexually abused children often cope by pushing the experience as far back in their minds as they can, to "forget" and avoid feeling hurt again.

Fear Of Losing Love : Child victims often feel responsible for what happened to them. Because of these feelings, they worry that their parents and friends will stop loving them once they know about the abuse. They also fear the separation from loved ones that could result from their telling.

Fear Of Shame & Guilt: Children either know or can sense that their sexual experiences with adults are wrong. Abuse makes most victims feel "dirty". This makes telling someone and acknowledging it occurred shameful. Older children have also been known to suffer more from a sense of guilt than younger children.

Fear Of Not Being Believed: Children fear that they will not be believed when they disclose about the abuse, which results in a feeling of helplessness. Furthermore, many people to assuage their own feelings of helplessness and discomfort, or through sheer ignorance, tend to believe that children lie and make up stories about abuse. On the contrary, children are almost always speaking the truth when they disclose regarding abuse.

Fear Of Being Blamed: Children fear that they will be blamed for any kind of sexual activity and that they were willing partners. People also tend to believe adults more than they would believe children. Offenders often make the excuse that their victims "asked" to be touched sexually. Children ask for affection and attention, which is their right, and not for sex about which they do not as yet have appropriate context for consent.

Fear Of Further Harm: Offenders often threaten their victims with harm to their families as a means of maintaining control. Victims then carry the burden of keeping their families safe by not telling.

Another very important factor that keeps the children from disclosing is their lack of vocabulary of their private parts and therefore the resulting inability to describe acts of sexual abuse. Children are usually not taught the correct names for the private parts, and are told that "nice girls/boys" don't use those words that refer to private body parts or sexual behaviour.

What kind of a person would sexually abuse a child?
Sexual abusers children could be anyone. Fathers, mothers, siblings, stepparents, grandparents, and other family members (uncles, aunts, cousins), neighbors, caregivers, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, or anyone else who is in close contact with children. While more cases of men being sex abusers are reported, there is a small proportion of women molesters too. At this juncture, it is important to mention that studies show 30-50 percent of abusers started their sexual offending behaviour as juveniles. Know more...

How can we keep our children safe from sex offenders?
We need to teach children about Personal Safety. We, as adults, also need to educate ourselves about sexual abuse and the risk factors or warning signs of sexually abusing behaviors. Here are some things that you can do to prevent the sexual abuse of a child you know.

What can I do if a child has been sexually abused? How should I respond? What should I say?
It is not uncommon to feel shock, disbelief, denial, self-blame, anger, confusion and/or doubt, if a child tells you she/he was abused. The following guidelines will help you in addressing the situation:

Believe the child: Children rarely make up stories about sexual abuse. Believing the child is a major step in healing the hurt caused by abuse. Tell the child that it is not her/his fault.

Remain calm: Children are sensitive to and worry about your feelings. If you respond with anger, the child may feel you are angry with her/him. Children need to feel that they are no different from others because of the abuse. Remaining calm will help children to feel normal.

Affirm the child's feelings: Children must be allowed to voice their feelings and have them affirmed and taken seriously in order to continue the telling and healing process.

Tell the child what will happen next: Children who have been abused lack control or options. They need to know that other people need to be involved to overcome sexual abuse. However, children need to feel participants in this process.

Support the child: Sexually abused children often feel that they are alone, this has happened to no one else, or no one will believe them, and so they need as much positive adult support as possible.