TULIR- Centre for the Prevention and Healing Child Sexual Abuse.


Cases

Tara (name changed)

A 7-year old girl used to have special classes in Hindi at home. While her tutor seemed competent and amiable, Tara's mother having attended a talk on CSA decided to sit in on the tution classes. While Tara and the tutor sat at one end of the dining table her mother sat at the other end. One day, since the tutor had called in ill she had taken his place and was shocked and horrified to realize that every time Tara made a mistake she expected her mother to fondle her between her legs as punishment Apparently in spite of Tara's mother's presence this practice had been initiated and followed by the tutor - capitalizing on the unquestionable obedience a student is expected to show a teacher and taking advantage of the drooping table cloth.

Initially Tara's mother had to be counseled on responding appropriately to her daughter before we started to work with Tara on the confusion and ambivalence she was experiencing before moving on to helping her relearn appropriate interpersonal contact with authority figures.

Anita (name changed)

A 13-year child was systematically sexually abused over successive summer holidays by a very close friend of the family who accompanied them with his family. Anita lost her voice completely and had to even drop out of school for a year. She never told her family who kept taking her to various doctors who in turn could not diagnose anything specifically wrong with her. Though she eventually regained her voice she felt she had undergone a complete personality change. When we met her in her later teenage years just sharing the simple fact with her that she was not the only person who had experienced being abused as a child, seemed to make a tremendous difference to her entire perspective on life and helped her towards a more positive well being.

Mani (name changed)

A 13-year old boy, was referred to Tulir-CPHCSA by a doctor, following an orientation session on CSA by Tulir which she had attended. According to his mother, Mani was being sexually abused by his 12-year old neighbor, who made Mani perform oral sex on him. The mother had noticed Mani washing his mouth out very often and masturbating openly. Besides stopping him from visiting the neighbour's house, she did not know how to address the situation. Since Mani was a differently able child, the Tulir-CPHCSA social worker requested an organisation specialising in working with special children for a professional assessment, upon which he was found to have the cognitive abilities of a 8-year old. Working with Mani over five one-hour sessions spread over an equal number of weeks, the social worker introduced to him the concept of personal safety and body integrity. As part of the healing and to prevent revictimization, the social worker used the Personal Safety Workbook

Mani enjoyed the sessions, and though he was initially hesitant to talk about his abusive experience, felt comfortable enough to discuss it by the last session. It was very gratifying to hear him acknowledge the experience to be abusive, that he now realized what had happened wasn't his fault. He felt confident about handling such a situation, should it ever arise in future. Through casework, his mother's anxieties were also addressed.

Ashok (name changed )

Ashok was 5 years old when his older teenage cousin sister manipulated him to sexually gratify her by touching her private body parts. The process of grooming was very clearly evident in this case - Ashok had to do these sexual acts as a penalty every time he was caught in a game of hide and seek! The cousin of course had taken into account the fact that a 5 year old child does not stand a chance against a 17 year old ! Ashok did not seem to have been affected by these experiences till his late teens when he started forging an intimate relationship. Suddenly memories from the past raised their head. He had nightmares, was in a constant state of self doubt and seemed to be unable to cope with every day life. Ashok expressing reluctance to have a face to face interaction instead chose a process of emails and SMS (cellphones), which ensured confidentiality. Together we went through the exercises of a workbook on 'post traumatic stress' over a period of 3-4 months which helped Ashok to work through the issues of trauma and reach a stage where he could deal with related issues.

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